


Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-08-10
Updated: 2005-08-10
Packaged: 2019-05-31 08:40:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15115793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: "I've been given my walking papers and I am using them."





	Will You Love Me Tomorrow?

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Will You Love Me Tomorrow?**

**by:** Montiese 

**Character(s):** Nancy, Lauren, CJ  
**Pairing(s):** Nancy/Lauren  
**Category(s):** Angst/Slash   
**Rating:** MATURE  
**Summary:** "I've been given my walking papers and I am using them."  
**Author's Note:** This is #6 in the Love Connection Series. 

"We got the green light...it's a go."

Ken Carpenter walked into Lauren's office on an early August morning. The country was still recovering from the kidnapping of Zoey Bartlet and President Bartlet stepping down. They were also getting their first glimpse of Bob Russell, the puppet Republicans pushed the Administration into naming Vice-President. The Administration's numbers were tanking and the world always turned on unstable governments. Those in the know waited with baited breath for the walls to cave in.

"Terrific. What are we talking about?"

" _Inside the Bartlet White House_. We're doing a series on the cogs in the wheel."

"Senior Staff?" Lauren asked.

It was hardly nine and she already needed a cigarette. Not to mention more coffee...she felt an ulcer coming on.

"They're old hat." Ken replied. "Who doesn't know everything about Josh Lyman and CJ Cregg? Though it would be the equivalent of a two hour erection to get unfettered access to Leo McGarry."

"Um...thanks for the visual. And its CJ McGarry by the way."

"Mmm hmm, anyway, we're talking the Cabinet. Secretary of State, Defense, Attorney General, National Security Advisor, and Joint Chiefs."

"The Joint Chiefs and the National Security Advisor are not a part of the Cabinet." Lauren replied.

"You are not going to bring me down Pierdon. We got the green light from the board...Hutchison's people are already on board."

"Of course they are. No one wants to hear Secretary Hutchison blow smoke as much as Secretary Hutchison does. I don't see Berryhill cooperating; he's still licking wounds because of the Vice-President thing."

"He'll be fine. It was better for Bartlet anyway. No one wants the Vice-President to be more popular that the President...he doesn't have to worry about that with Russell."

"Certainly not. Are the joint chiefs part of the project."

"I would love to get Percy Fitzwallace under lights. I don't know...he's camera shy. We don't have to worry about that with the rest. Give them a camera crew and a mike...it will be better than reality TV."

"The National Security Advisor wouldn't like that." Lauren replied in a nonchalant tone that did not convey their serious relationship for the past 17 months."

"Did you not figure that was why I was here?" Ken asked.

"Hmm." It was her only reply.

"I am sure you can soften her up Lauren."

She looked up from her numbers and smirked.

"No one softens up Nancy McNally."

"It is a bit more than a request."

"Is it? Then why the hell did you bother to come in here with the niceties? I am not a child...I can handle 'get your girlfriend to cooperate or pack your bags'."

Ken sighed.

"It's not like that." he replied.

"Tell me what it's like and tell me fast Ken."

He sat in the chair across from her desk.

"You know as well as I do that behind the President, McGarry, and Berryhill, everyone wants to see McNally. It is important for the powers to be to see her."

"Ken I refuse to use our relationship to get you an interview. If I lose my job, I lose it. Why don't you just call her; like you did Hutchison's people?"

"We have." Ken said. "We got no response."

"She is busy. Give her some time."

"We called her a week ago."

Lauren sighed.

"Forget it. I have to draw a line between my personal and professional life. Put in another request."

"You are a valuable member of this team Lauren." Ken sighed. "No one is going to fire you if we don't get Nancy McNally. Some, though not myself, want you to use your considerable influence to tip the scales."

"I got you Ken; truly I hear you. What you are not hearing is that I do not have any influence in that department. It is Nancy's job and her decision. She is devoted to the President and Leo McGarry; it's a family thing."

Ken nodded, though he really had no idea what she was talking about. Around here, there was so much backstabbing, finger pointing, and boot slapping, everyone (including the bigwigs), watched their backs and kept their allies in their pockets.

* * *

"Dammit Fitz, the terrorists are still missing. Zoey is back now...its time."

"I agree. But you know we have to tread carefully on domestic soil."

"We didn't with Shareef."

"It was different and you know it."

Her assistant buzzed Nancy.

"What is it Howard?"

"This is the third call from CNN this week Dr. McNally."

"What?"

She looked up at Fitz, a question on her raised eyebrow.

" _Inside the Bartlet White House_." He said. "I turned them down. Others didn't."

"Who?"

"State, Defense, Attorney General, Homeland Security."

"The blowhards." Nancy replied.

He nodded solemnly. Nancy went back to the intercom.

"Take a message Howard. Tell them that someone will get back to them by the end of business today. A detailed message and a contact."

She went back to Fitz.

"Are you going to take it to Leo?" she asked.

"Yeah. They'll call you when the time comes."

"I know. What if I took the CNN offer?"

"Because of Lauren?"

"No. No Fitz, why would you say that?"

"She's your whatever the hell you call it today...you don't want there to be trouble at her job."

"Lauren is a grown woman. She can take care of herself. The decision is mine alone, she certainly hasn't said anything and I won't let our relationship factor in any way."

"OK."

Nancy stopped Fitz before he could leave. He looked at her and sighed.

"I just opened a can of worms, didn't I?"

"I don't know. Its been a while since I've had anyone in my life. Most of the time I say its because I'm busy..."

"Its not. Its because you are intensely personal and don't know how to open yourself to scrutiny and revelation."

Nancy cocked her head to the side.

"OK, someone watched Dr. Phil while they had insomnia."

"I just know you. Having said that, I also see how Lauren makes you feel. In this town the whole thing is a double edge sword."

Nancy nodded.

"Thanks Fitz."

"Yeah. Call her, say hi. Shake off your day for 10 minutes."

"That is too long. 5 to 7 is all I got." She gave a small smile.

"Call her Nance."

Fitz left the room. Nancy took a deep breath as her assistant came in.

* * *

"Lauren Pierdon."

"Hey you."

"Oh hi. I didn't know it was you. I didn't recognize the number."

"It's a throwaway cell phone...long story."

"Will it self-destruct after our conversation?" Lauren asked.

Nancy actually laughed. Lauren was relieved; lately Nancy had been tense and edgy. That was when they saw each other. Nancy was pulling 18 hours days, and Lauren worked at least 14. She could not remember the last time they had a worthwhile conversation or ate a meal together. They had not made love since visiting Lauren's parents over a month ago.

"Its altogether possible. How is your day?" Nancy asked.

"We don't have enough time for that. Also, we hardly see each other so I will not waste the moment. I love you."

"I am getting pressure from CNN about some _Inside the Bartlet White House_ thing." Nancy replied.

Lauren felt bile in the bottom of her stomach...Nancy hadn't responded to her declaration. Calm down Pierdon, she chastised herself, we are both very busy.

"Pressure or a request?" Lauren asked.

"Unfortunately I have to call to find out. They are always vague on purpose."

"I told you that the tide was turning."

"Yeah. Can we have dinner tonight baby? I have to come back to the office but I thought we could meet somewhere."

"I have to have dinner with my producers tonight. I will be home by ten though."

Nancy laughed but Lauren couldn't tell what kind of laugh it was.

"I wish. I don't know what time I will be home and I refuse to make promises."

"Call CNN and see what they want."

"Why? Are they pressuring you?"

"It is impolite not to return a phone call Nance."

"That is the point in this business we are in. Oh hey, can you straighten up the den...you left it a mess with all the cat toys and stuff."

''Sure. I have to go now."

"This conversation didn't go anywhere near where I wanted it to." Nancy said.

"Its OK. See you later."

"Yeah, bye. Oh shit, Lauren! Hello, hello?" she sighed heavily. "I love you too."

The line was already dead.

* * *

Lauren hung up the phone with her producer at 11o'clock and turned on Looney Tunes. That's right, she was watching Looney Tunes. Nothing like Wile E. Coyote to shake off the day she had. When the key turned in the lock she jumped...Nancy was not supposed to be home for a couple of hours. She kept her eyes on the TV. She would have pretended to be asleep if she would have had advanced warning.

There was a crash as Nancy seemed to drop everything a few feet from the front door. Lauren sat up slightly, looking out the bedroom door.

"Nance, are you OK? Nancy?"

She heard her coming down the hall. When she came into view Lauren couldn't help but smile...the National Security Advisor was tugging at her blouse.

"I certainly didn't expect..."

"Don't talk, get naked. I want to fuck you so bad I can't see straight."

"What?"

"Talk off your clothes!" she demanded.

"If you want it, come and take it." Lauren replied.

Nancy was naked in a matter of minutes. Her clothes were scattered all over the floor and she didn't care. Usually she was a neat freak. She climbed across the bed and captured Lauren's mouth with her own. She kissed her breathless.

"I love you baby." She whispered before kissing her again. "I love you, I love you. I tried to tell you but you had already hung up."

Lauren wanted to say she loved her too but Nancy wouldn't let her lips go long enough to speak. Instead Lauren spread her thighs, pulling Nancy close and squeezing her buttocks. Nancy moved some and got Lauren out of her clothes. Her mouth was warm on her lover's skin, spreading goose bumps all over.

"Oh Nancy, I missed you so much."

"You're going to remember tonight."

Nancy took her time, lingering in all her favorite places. The hollow of Lauren's neck; her nipples; the crook of her left elbow; her belly button; and the inside of her thighs. Lauren could not help but cry out at the attention...they had not been intimate in weeks. She had tried to handle the urges herself but the orgasms were pitiful, when she could have one. It had nothing on the intensity of being with Nancy.

"You want me so bad, don't you baby?" Nancy said.

"I want you, oh God, right now!"

Nancy lapped at the wetness between Lauren's thighs, smiling when her back curved. It had been awhile since she was so turned on; since Nancy took so much time and care. In only a few minutes Lauren was coming, moaning her passion. The National Security Advisor slowly kissed up her body until she was back at her mouth. She held Lauren's head still and plundered her mouth. All she could do was moan into the kiss, tasting herself on Nancy's tongue.

Still kissing her Nancy traced her nipples with feather light fingers. Lauren pushed her gently from her mouth, biting down on her lip in ecstasy. Nancy spread Lauren's thighs more, pressing down on her groin and grinding against her. Lauren opened her eyes.

"Nancy." She whispered. There were tears in her eyes.

"What baby?" Nancy's breath came in short spurts.

"Uhh...you make me feel so good."

"Say it again." She pressed on her more.

"Oh God! Oh shit!"

Lauren slid her hand between them, alternately rubbing her clit and Nancy's. Nancy moaned, lifting her leg to allow Lauren better access. They came together and Nancy sagged against her. Lauren wrapped her arms around her back.

"Mmm." Nancy was satisfied and slowing her heart rate for Round 2.

"Do you have to go back to the White House?"

Nancy looked at her; there were still tears in her eyes.

"No. Lauren, what's the matter?"

"The honeymoon is over, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It can't last forever." She kissed her cheek. "Times may be tough fro the next few months."

Lauren nodded. Nancy turned her face and kissed her softly.

"Come on, smile for me baby."

Lauren smiled. Nancy clucked her under the chin. She rolled over onto the bed and pulled Lauren on top of her. Lauren placed tiny kisses on her eyelids. She managed a real smile.

"No more talking Doctor." She said.

"Yes ma'am."

* * *

"This is Dr. Nancy McNally. I am calling to speak to Ken Carpenter."

Nancy held on as she listened to Hall and Oates' _Say It Isn't So_. She did not like to be kept waiting, even with a decent song. In 90 seconds she would be hanging up.

"Dr. McNally, thank you for waiting."

"What can I do for you Ken?"

"We are working on a new project called _Inside the Bartlet White House_. Have you heard about it?"

"Vaguely. Go on."

"Several keys members of the Cabinet have agreed to work with us and we would love to do a profile on you."

"What does a profile entail?" Nancy asked.

She looked over her schedule for the afternoon and evening. It would be another long night. Would she even have time for dinner?"

"Well, the usual background and biographical information. We would interview those close to you and people like professors and coworkers. Then we would want to interview you extensively and have a crew with you for a day."

"No." Nancy said simply.

"Oh, well Lauren Pierdon gave us the impression that this project was right up your alley."

"I'm sorry." Nancy took her glasses to rub her eyes.

"Lauren Pierdon, she is a friend of yours? She thought as an African-American woman in a powerful position you would love the idea of doing something like this."

"Firstly, you know that Lauren and I are more than friends. Secondly, my job is very complex and much of it is classified, so I have no intention of walking a camera crew through State, the Pentagon, and the Situation Room."

"Well I could give you some time to think about the offer." Ken said. "If you say yes I am sure we can work around some things."

"Sure. I have meetings this afternoon so..."

"Yes, of course. Thank you for returning our phone call."

Nancy slammed down the phone. Lauren was involved in this. OK, Nancy said, do not get angry. Take a deep breath. Lauren was doing her job and there was no need to get crazy. She took a few deep breaths, grabbed her cell phone, and pushed three.

"Hi."

"Hey, are you in the middle of something?" Nancy asked.

"Not quite yet. What's up?"

"Why are you discussing me with Ken Carpenter? Did you tell him that I would green light this inside whatever the fuck you call it?"

OK, that had not gone as Nancy had hoped.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Ken..."

"Yeah, Ken, who just spoke to me. He told me that he was given the impression that I wanted to do this. Some powerful black women BS."

"It wasn't like that. He..."

"He seemed a bit miffed that I would pull back after telling the woman I sleep with that I was for it."

"I never...I did not tell him that. And I am more than the woman you sleep with. Who are you going to believe, Ken or me?"

"Oh that is such a liar's question Lauren." Nancy replied in an exasperated tone.

"Fuck you! I am a liar now...have I ever once lied to you. Fuck you!" she slammed the phone in her ear.

"Hello? Lauren? Dammit!"

She pushed redial. It rang six times and the voicemail answered. Nancy hung up on it. Sitting at her desk for two or three minutes, she was surprised to hear Lauren's ring tone... _Diamonds and Pearls_ by Prince.

"Hello."

"I'm sorry I hung up." Lauren said.

"I am not calling you a liar."

"Ken Carpenter didn't talk to me about this thing until after you got the first phone call. To be perfectly honest I don't care if you do the interview or not. Ken gave some vague 'best interest of your job' spiel but they are not going to fire me."

"He threatened your job?"

"Don't sound so incredulous, it happens. They want you and they figure they can go through me."

"I'm sorry." Nancy said.

"No one ever said it would be easy Nance. I think we saw this coming."

Nancy didn't respond to that.

"Anyway, I am going to stay in Chevy Chase for a couple of days." Lauren said.

"Why?"

"I have business in Annapolis...you know the traffic is a bitch. It's a few days."

"I feel like I'm being punished." Nancy said.

"Its work Nancy. We hardly see each other right now anyway."

"I have been busy. It is not always as crazy as it is right now."

"Yes, it is. And I have been busy too. That is why I have to go to Annapolis for a few days. I have to go now. I love you boo boo kitty."

She really did, with her whole heart.

"I love you too."

* * *

CJ opened the door and smiled at Nancy.

"Come in. What did you bring me?"

"Honey chicken and cheddar on whole wheat with mustard, and a Diet Coke."

"You said the magic word. Gimme."

They went into the den where CJ had one TV on C-Span and the other on CNN. Baby Charlie was asleep in the basinet by the couch, where Nancy sat.

"Where is Tim?" she asked.

"Mitch took him on a little outing. How are you?"

"You look sexy in those shorts. Do your legs ever end?"

CJ smiled and then laughed.

"You must have a ton of things on your mind...you haven't made lascivious comments to me in a while."

'It was not lascivious. Anyway, your gorgeous legs are practically a matter of public record."

CJ sat beside her, handing her the corn beef special and Dr. Pepper from the bag.

"I haven't talked to Lauren in a while. She must be pretty busy."

"She has been in Annapolis for two days on business. At least that is what she told me."

"What do you mean?"

"She has not called and I left three voicemails. I am much too busy to chase her."

"Its Annapolis Nance, not Antarctica. Do you want to talk or are you going to get like Leo and just mutter and nod?"

"Are you saying that I have male characteristics when it comes to being in a relationship?" Nancy asked.

"Yes." CJ replied without batting an eyelash.

"We are going through something. Lauren is being weird."

CJ didn't say anything. Nancy would say what she wanted to and all the questions would do nothing. So it was better to just let her go and take her time.

"She's just...CJ every little thing makes her think we are going to break up. CNN has been harassing me about some interviews and we had a spat about it. So what, it doesn't mean I don't love her."

"When did all of this start?" CJ asked.

"On the way back from her mother's birthday party. I liked her parents, they liked me, and everyone was happy. Now it seems like she is finding holes and sabotaging things. Why would she do that?"

"I doubt she is doing it purposely. I have known her forever and though she has had her share of long term relationships, Lauren is usually the one who gets her heart broken. She is almost 40 and she doesn't want that to happen anymore."

"That doesn't answer..."

"She loves you, I know that. It makes her relax. She has to make sure before she surrenders that there is nothing to throw her off. Of course, I am just guessing."

"She is making things up to throw herself off!" Nancy exclaimed.

"Talk to her then."

"This conversation just went full circle. She is not answering my calls. I am too busy to drive to Chevy Chase and hold a boombox over my head."

"You like _Say Anything_?"

"What am I, a Communist? I love John Cusack. I do not want Lauren to be unhappy. I would rather step away and let her figure this out than ruin what we have. Maybe we could take a break."

"Is that what you want?" CJ asked.

"No, but I also don't want her to drive herself insane. Or me for that matter."

"Call her on it Nance. Make her confront it instead of always holding it in."

"That could backfire." Nancy replied.

"Yeah. But it would only put you back here. Just do it, at least let Lauren know that you are on to her trying to sabotage things."

* * *

Lauren walked onto her porch at 10:30, jumping when she saw Nancy sitting on the porch swing. The National Security Advisor just looked at her...she looked as if she was running on fumes. Nancy fought back the urge to embrace her.

"You scared me. What are you doing here Nancy?"

"I've been calling you for two days. I got concerned."

"It has been hectic. I wasn't even going to come home tonight but it felt silly to stay in a hotel when I cold drive twenty minutes. It gave me a chance to listen to the new Sting CD."

"You were too busy for a phone call?" Nancy asked.

"I don't know. I know how crazy your schedule is...I never know when I can reach you. It seemed silly to play phone tag."

The younger woman shifted uncomfortably. She took a cigarette from her purse and lit it.

"Silly? To try and call me? What is going on with you? Don't I even get a hug baby, a kiss?"

"I think it may be in everyone's best interest if we just end this now." She whispered.

"OK."

Nancy's response did not convey how she felt. She felt as if she had been punched in the stomach, the face, and then had a rug pulled from under her feet. Lauren looked at her with tears in her eyes.

"You want to at least tell me why? I think I deserve that Lauren. Don't say the CNN thing because that was a misunderstanding. We are going to have plenty of those."

"It was just the beginning. Our jobs...you always need to be secretive and I need to dig. You push me away. There will be a constant conflict."

"I have never once pushed you away." Nancy replied. "Tell me what this is really about."

"Look, it is just the way it is. I don't want to pontificate all night. I just want a cup of tea and to go to bed."

"Fine." Nancy let out a resigned breath. "Tomorrow is going to be crazy so I...I love you to death Lauren and this is hurting me."

Lauren stifled a sob as thunder boomed across the sky and torrential rain started to fall.

"Isn't it better to stop before one or both of us get hurt?" she asked.

"Why don't you stop answering me with questions? Tell me what is on your mind. List the reasons."

"I don't have to do that." she said in a defensive tone.

Nancy shrugged.

"You know what, you really don't. I also don't stay here anymore. I've been given my walking papers and I'm using them."

Nancy walked across the porch and Lauren stepped out of her way. Lightning flashed and thunder roared. Nancy jumped, muttering an expletive.

"This is ridiculous!" she couldn't keep her temper.

"I love you Nancy."

"Don't say that to me. Don't break my heart in two and tell me you love me. It doesn't make any goddamn sense." Her voice was calm again.

"My love for you doesn't make our problems go away."

"I asked you to talk to me. You are causing these problems by keeping me at arm's length. I am going home; this conversation is over."

"You can't drive in this." Lauren replied.

"I'll be fine."

"Not in that relic. If you get hurt..."

Nancy turned to her. Tears streamed down her face.

"Please baby, just tell me what's the matter. I can talk all night and all day if you want."

Lauren shook her head vigorously. She didn't know what to say. Her head hurt and she needed a cup of tea.

"Just come in. You can leave when the rain slacks."

The rain looked as if slacking was nowhere in the near future. This was an August storm, the kind that lasted for two days. Lauren unlocked her door and went inside. Nancy still stood on the porch, watching the rainfall. She didn't want to go inside. She didn't want the BS excuses or the agonizing silence. Maybe it was better to end it now...she was too busy for the drama. How did she not see this coming? Nancy thought she had gotten good at reading signs of Lauren's impending psychosis.

"Are you coming inside?"

"No, I am waiting for the rain to slack."

"Its not going to slack Nancy. You..."

"Just stop talking. It is over and I am going home. You said it; it is in everyone's best interest."

Nancy heard her sigh.

"You are distrustful of the press. I am the press."

"We knew that when we met. It didn't stop us then." Nancy said.

"But now..."

"What? The Administration is taking a beating, so what? It is just a job Lauren. It takes a lot of energy and time but it is just a job. You know there is more to me that that, don't you?"

"I feel like I can't get close to you."

"When?"

"I just do."

"Then this is for the best. I am not going to fight about this...I just want you to be happy."

"You think I'm happy Nancy?"

There was silence again, pierced by thunder.

"Please just stay. Come inside and have a cup of tea."

"OK."

She walked into the house and followed Lauren into the kitchen. She watched as she found Bobby Womack on the radio and put on the teakettle. Nancy tried to think of something to say but having trivial conversation seemed just that.

"Tomorrow I am calling Ken Carpenter and telling him to shove it up his ass." Nancy said. "What kind of tea do you have?"

"Peach and chamomile."

"I'll take chamomile."

Lauren poured two mugs of hot water, sliding one across the counter to Nancy. Nancy blew on it and smiled. Then she frowned.

"I think you just wasted a teabag." She said.

"I don't mind if you don't drink it."

"I just want to get out of here. Goddamn rain."

Whitney Houston replaced Bobby Womack.

_Share my life; take me for what I am_  
Cuz I'll never change all my colors for you  
Take my love, I'll never ask for too much  
Just all that you, and everything that you do

Nancy got up and stormed out of the kitchen. She went up the stairs and Lauren heard one of the doors slam. She sat at the counter and finished her tea.

* * *

Nancy had no idea when she fell asleep. The storm raged outside the window and inside of her. But she must have at some point because she was awakened by familiar warmth. Lauren was curled around her; Nancy gently pushed her off. Lauren opened her eyes.

"Get out." She said. "I know this is your house but this is my room tonight and I don't want you in here."

Lauren just looked at her, pain and sadness in her big blue eyes. It broke Nancy's heart.

"I can't stand to have my heart broken anymore." Lauren said. "I am so scared Nancy."

Nancy pulled her back to her; it was instinctual.

"What are you scared of baby? Talk to me."

"Every time I stop looking over my shoulder I get blindsided. Every time I stop running, I trip and fall. I don't want us to crumble."

"So you create a problem? I'm sorry but I can't understand that."

"If I end it I can keep the control. I won't end up an emotional mess after you hurt me."

"I am not going to hurt you. And I hate to tell you this, but you are an emotional mess right now."

"You can't say you won't hurt me." Lauren whispered.

"Relationships hurt, but when its good you work it out. You scream, yell, even walk out, but you come back when you love someone."

"Tara cheated on me a lot, probably from the very beginning. When I fall in love I go blind."

"The only thing that is a challenge for my attention is my job, I am going to be busy a lot and there will be times when we don't get to see each other. That is why I wanted you to live with me. I want you there when I drag myself home at night."

"I don't want to break up. But I don't want to feel like this anymore."

"We already broke up." Nancy replied. "You are the only one who can stop this feeling. If you want me to give you some space to work through this I can do that. I will not take you back so you can do this again next Tuesday. It hurts me too."

Lauren wiped her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Can we just make love? I feel so safe when we make love."

"You're supposed to feel safe. It won't solve anything; I would rather talk."

"I told you everything. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I'm sabotaging it and I don't know how to stop."

"Its not our jobs. I trust you around confidential papers. I deal with your mangy cat."

"Hey, Abigail is not mangy. You have remembered to feed her."

"Yes, the little booger is growing on me. I love you. I am too old and set in my ways to be on the prowl. Our nugget of domesticity is my safety net."

"I feel the same way." Lauren replied.

"Then why...?"

"I don't know. I've been hurt a lot. Our relationship is good now, but I don't know about the end."

"Who cares? You can't spend the whole time worried about that. I know its easier said than done but you have to live in the now. Have fun with me, fight with me, and be in love with me. The end is the end."

"You're always so calm Nancy...I can't tell what you are thinking and feeling."

"Ask me. I don't just drop feelings you have to ask. If you ask I will never fail to answer truthfully."

"Do you love me?" Lauren asked.

"OK, don't you ever ask me that...that is something you should never doubt. The day I stop I will tell you. I loved you the very first night."

They just lay quiet for a while. Lauren rubbed Nancy's stomach and she tried to restrain the desire that coursed through her.

"If I promise not to be a psycho anymore, will you take me back?" Lauren asked.

"I don't know if you can promise me that. But you can promise to just talk to me and never doubt that I love you."

"I promise."

Nancy nodded.

"OK. Don't hurt me like this again. When you said that tonight I felt like I got punched."

"I'm sorry boo boo kitty."

Lauren cried again. Nancy held her tight, rubbing circles on her back. She wished she could throw that nickname in the promise fire.

"Shh, don't cry baby. I am here and I'm not going anywhere."

"Make love to me Nancy."

Lauren rolled over on her back, pulling Nancy on top of her. They kissed for a long time, until Lauren's lips stopped trembling enough to respond properly. Nancy moved her mouth down to her neck and throat, trailing down the salty skin with her tongue. She paused long enough to push the covers away and get out of the sleep shirt she found in one of the drawers. Lauren's hands immediately found her bountiful breasts, squeezing and massaging until the National Security Advisor moaned.

She gently pushed Lauren's hands away, continuing to kiss down her body. She licked her nipples, swirling with her tongue until Lauren was incoherent. She sucked in her whole breast, which was the beauty of a small chested woman, and then her nipples. First one, then the other. Nancy's hand trailed down while her mouth was still busy with Lauren's breast. She stroked her a few times.

"Mmm, oh God." She curved her back.

Nancy pulled away, looking at her lover. Sweat on her forehead, flushed skin, glazed eyes; she was most beautiful in her bliss.

"Do you have anything in here baby?" she whispered.

"Check the nightstand." Lauren replied.

Nancy opened the drawer, pulling out the tiny vibrator. Clicking it on, Lauren's body tingled from the buzzing noise.

"Fuck me now." She begged. "Please Nancy, now." She pulled her mouth to hers.

"I love you." Nancy said, slipping the vibrator inside of her.

"Ohhh...Ohhh..."

Lauren sat up on her elbows, heightening the sensation. Nancy had it on the lowest setting...slow and torturous. Every time Lauren made too much noise, she pulled it away and replaced it with her mouth.

"You're killing me!" Lauren screamed.

She pulled Nancy up as the vibrator went back in. They kissed as she stroked Nancy's clit. Nancy was so wet and cried out at the contact. They kept kissing and Nancy turned the setting up; Lauren crashed into her orgasm. She kept it up until Nancy climaxed too. Then they held each other, breathing hard and coming down. Lauren touched her face.

"I love you too." She said.

"I know. Its going to be alright because I am not letting you go."

Nancy moved over to the bed, turning on her side. She had to sleep; she needed to be back in DC in a few hours. She felt Lauren take her hand and kiss it before sleep captured her completely.


End file.
